COWBOYS OF THE DESERT:
THE CULTURE OF NOMADIC BEDOUINS

Look at yonder oasis ...An Arabian woman, tall and proud as a queen, graceful as a gazelle, is returning from the well. A heavy water is balanced on her head. Swaying gently, like the palm tree, she is the essence of femininity. But this desert flower is not a frail creation, she is a hard-
working member of the community. This is the romance and the reality of desert life. Join me for a look at life in the desert and its people, the bedouins.

The Arabs feel much the same way about the bedouins that Americans feel about cowboys. The bedouin (bedu, beduin, or badawin) are referred to by Arabs as the "true Arabs". The bedouin man loves his camel as the cowboy loves his horse. Although they also love horses, they are a luxury. Camels are their means of survival. The women and children manage herds of
goats, sheep and a few chickens which they use to feed their families each day. The camels are more the province of the men, although the women may also help care for them.

Desert temperatures are severe. At best, daytime temperatures may be a balmy 100 degrees farenheit. During August temperatures may soar to 125 degrees with periods of deadly calm and humidity. Time is measured by the stars in the sky, and the seasons are marked by constellations.

The tribe will have its own territory, but wanders where the grass is best. Therefore, it is important to be at peace with one's neighbors. The bedouin become the most astute of politicians through sheer necessity, since their travels cross the boundaries of several countries.

Social Structure and Family Life

Any member of a bedouin family considers himself or herself a true bedouin whether the home is a house in town or a tent in the desert. This story will focus on the nomadic bedouin lifestyle – the wolves of the desert.

One area of bedouin life that has been greatly misunderstood by westerners is the role of the sheik in the tribe. The bedouin system is based on equality, individual autonomy, and the acquisition of reputation. No man has power over another, nor can his authority outstrip his reputation. This is enforced by an elaborate social system. Even the sheik cannot force another bedouin to do anything, so he must find a solution by consensus of opinion. The matter will be discussed over coffee in the sheik's tent until a consensus is reached. Some misconceptions by outsiders have apparently been caused by bedouins staging events for "image management".

"Your neighbor, your neighbor, then your neighbor", goes a common Arabic saying. A sheik's reputation is built over a period of time in his father's tent. A good sheik is truly the "father of his people". All good bedouins cultivate this attitude of hospitality, but the Sheik and his wife must be an outstanding example of it. The sacred rule of hospitality states that a guest must be hosted for three days before the host can ask his reason for being there.

On the Women's side of the Tent

The status of bedouin women should not be judged by Western prejudices. Social anthropologist William Lancaster, who lived among the bedouins with his wife, explains that men and women are truly equal partners. The truth is that life is hard in the desert for both men and women. A man can get nowhere without a woman, and a woman cannot be anyone without
a man. Women represent the private and protected side of society while men represent the public side. In a world filled with warfare, blood feuds and raids, the bedouin woman can theoretically demand (in the absence of her relatives) protection from any bedouin male.

During a traditional bedouin raid among tribes, the women of the tent are safe. Their men may scatter and free, or be killed, but the women must be left unharmed, even if they try to fight back. This protection is not extended for sentimental reasons. Lancaster believed it was due to a sense of tribal survival. The bedouin woman is not weak, and her code of honor is as strong as a man's. The penalty for dishonor is the harshest of all: death. It is the greatest insult for a strange man to ask about the wife of his host. However the visitor's wife could inquire about the whole family of the host. A bridegroom will be the butt of jokes from his friends, but they would never mention his bride-to-be.

Lancaster further explains that this private aspect of women's lives is essential to the functioning of Arab society. Men cannot cooperate with strangers merely out of friendship. A distant relationship through the women of the tribe can be "discovered" to legitimize a business or social relationship. Marriages may even be arranged to further these relationships.

On the negative side, a woman may not even know about her marriage until after the fact. Her mother will throw a red cloth over her head unexpectedly and she will be properly carried kicking and screaming to the bridal room to await her new husband. In practice, the system works better if she has been consulted or at least hinted about her feelings for a prospective
husband. In a few instances, the prospective bride has protested so vigorously that the father is embarrassed and is forced to cancel the arrangements. Or a woman may use so many excuses to postpone the marriage that the groom-to-be gets frustrated and marries someone else. If the offer were refused it might awkward social problems, so it is "taken under consideration" indefinitely.

One might think that this leaves women completely at the mercy of men, but a women does have some recourse. Divorce is easy and without shame. If a woman can get back to her parent's home and refuses to return, she is granted a divorce. This is true through Arab society.
Death and divorce are treated absolutely equally. A man who is widowed may not see the face of his wife after death, and he may no longer see the face of his ex-wife after divorce. One famous sheik, however, remarried the same woman several times by making arrangements with her new husbands because he found that he could not bear to be without her.

Women are understandably sensitive about their reputation. A married bedouin woman has far more freedom than her town sisters, and may be quite friendly with the males in their part of the tribe. In the absence of her husband, the mistress of the tent is reponsible for taking care of
the family. And, in fact, it is common for the men to take off and not return for days or even weeks. If the family moves in the meantime, the men have to follow the tribes usual trails to find them.

Romance under the stars

"Ya hamila al marra min fen ...
"O water bearer, from where, from where
Do you carry your jar of earthenware?
O let your glaces stray
This way, this way ..."
From an Arabic folk song

So where does this leave the most ancient pursuit of love? Somewhat hampered, but still flourishing. In the case of herding tribes, a young bedouin may meet his love among the camels, or herd of sheep and goats. If unmarried, he must ask her father for her hand. Widows and divorced women may be asked directly. A woman's cousin (with specific priorities for different cousins) has first marriage rights and may kill to defend them. However, if her father dies she may go at once to her cousin and ask, "My father has died. I want you to release me in return formy father who has passed away." The tribe will speak well of his generosity if he do so for
whatever reason. Folk tales often use this motif to show the honor of a character.

Since women are so rarely seen, it is common to speak of the most intense cases of love over the sight of an ankle or a bauble. A folk tale entitled "Jewel in the Sand" illustrates the way of romance among the bedouin. In this story a young sheik finds a magnificent earring in the sand, and commissions an old woman to find the owner. When found, the young woman generously gives her the other because they are a pair. "A beauty with the heart of a prince," the sheik declares, and decides he must wed her. Using his wealth and influence to negotiate for her, he brings her to his tribe and marries her. But on the bridal night the sheik stumbles into her cousin
who says he truly loves her. With true generosity, the sheik gives up his right to her and the young couple are enriched by all the wedding gifts from the sheik. Of course, the bride's opinion is not included n the story!

Life in a Tent

As mistress of the tent (ra'it al-bayt) the bedouin woman holds the honor and good name of her husband in her hands. Hers is the duty of providing for the guest, and spreading the word of her husband's value among the other women, who also talk to their husbands. The tent is truly her tent. She makes it herself from strips of wool that she weaves, and it belongs to her.

The public network of information in which the husband participates is subjected to a reality check by his wife who has her private network among the women. Does a man presume to be wealthy and generous? Then why do his women fare so poorly? Families spend a great deal of money to dress marriageable daughters because it shows the high esteem their fathers and
brothers have for them.

Not only is it impractical for a bedouin male to be single, but his tent is not likely to be run by only one woman. The mistress of the tent may be assisted by sisters, sisters-in-law or neighbors. There is enough work to go around for everyone, regardless of age. The tent must be kept in good repair and furnished with cushions and other necessities. Daily chores include
gathering firewood, processing goat milk into yogurt and cheese, and bread to be baked. And, of course, the members of the family must be clothed and cared for.

Women have an important responsibility in raising children. Bedouin children are taught to be responsible and independent through conditioning rather than discipline. In general, they are given chores to do and left unsupervised. A girl of six is expected to be able to make coffee for a
guest and they go fetch someone more responsible if no one else is at home. Boys may play life and death games with little or no supervision at the tender age of four or five. A child who whines, is greed, or sneaky damages the reputation of the family and requires some form of discipline. For instance, a selfish child might arbitrarily have a favorite article taken away until he/she gets the message. Whereas we tend to cuddle and fuss over a child who is hurt or frightened, the bedouin will do so only when a child is not upset. Therefore, children are fussed over and held a good portion of the time and have a remarkable degree of self-assurance.

Thus, Bedouin men, women and children are expected to be strong, courageous, honorable and hospitable towards strangers.